Chemicals React
by Twilight Fading
Summary: The past, the present, and the future of John and Bobby and their hidden feelings for each other. Song fic of Aly & AJ's song Chemicals React. Slash.


_Chemicals React_

From the moment John saw Bobby, he knew he was in love. At first, only a physical attraction. Bobby had a physique to die for. Before long, John found there was more to Bobby than a pretty face. Bobby had been the only one to see past John's rough exterior and bad attitude, and realize that he really needed a friend. Even if John himself refused to accept it, but he was thankful for Bobby. He'd been his only friend. He can't remember if he had one in the past.

He repressed all those memories. He didn't want to think of a time when he felt so helpless. He loved Bobby, but he'd never tell him. He knew he simply couldn't have Bobby in all the ways he wanted, and that killed him.

_You make me feel out of my element,  
Like I'm walking on broken glass,  
Like my world's spinning in slow motion,  
And you're moving too fast.._

Now, Bobby was gone, and he was gone from Bobby. He couldn't stay with him. They were two different people, from two different worlds. Along with two different paths, and two different futures. He knew he probably lost all hope of ever being with Bobby, even as a friend, when he walked out of the jet without so much as a goodbye. That decision gave him what he's wanted all of his life: power. He looks back and sees Bobby. He wonders if it was all worth it. Power over love.

_Were you right, was I wrong?  
Were you weak, was I strong? Yeah,  
Both of us broken,  
Caught in a moment.  
We lived and we loved,  
and we hurt, and we joked, yeah,  
But the planets all aligned,  
When you looked into my eyes,  
and just like that, the chemicals react.  
The chemicals react.._

There was just something so different about John that took Bobby's breath away. John was like a wounded, abused puppy that had grown to be hostile. But he was still hurt, he felt pain. John was always seen alone. Even though he never looked like he was about to cry, he knew he wished he had someone standing next to him, to talk to, to just _be_ with. Bobby always had the ability to see the best in everyone. Whenever he was around him, he felt like he had never felt before.

John had become one of his best friends. Someone he could turn to, or go to talk to about _anything_. John seemed to understand him better than his other friends did, even Rogue. John may usually exhibit his smart ass qualities, but the truth is, the man could go deep.

_You make me feel out of my element,  
Like I'm driftin' out to the sea,  
Like the tides pullin' me in deeper,  
Making it harder to breathe..  
_

Neither of them wanted to believe that they had feelings for another man. For eachother. And it would remain a secret. That would remain within their own minds. They gave up on any excuses. It was true. They loved each other. Admitting this to themselves was one thing. Admitting to the other was another.

_We cannot deny how we feel inside,  
We cannot deny.._

If Bobby knew that would have been the last time he would see John, as his friend, he would have gone with him. He would have tried to stop him, or even go with him. John made him feel in ways that everyone else hoped they could. Namely Rogue. His heart belonged to John, not her.

_Were you right, was I wrong?  
Were you weak, was I strong? Yeah,  
Both of us broken,  
Caught in a moment,  
We lived and we loved,  
and we hurt, and we joked, yeah.  
But the planets all aligned,  
When you looked into my eyes,  
and just like that, the chemicals react.  
The chemicals react.._

The boys faced many frightening moments in their lifetime. But, admitting their love to the other was in a league of it's own. There was no way the other could be into that sort of thing, at least in their mind. They didn't want to risk their friendship on such a fragile thread. Terrified of rejection.

For now, they only lived on their silent dreams and desires that remained unspoken. No matter how painful. It was the only way to live. _  
_

_Kaleidoscope of colors turning hopes on fire,  
Sun is burning,  
Shining down on both of us..._

As long as they were together, as friends, they would stay alive.

_Don't let us lose it,  
Don't let us lose it..._

They knew that now, now that they were on opposing sides..

Good and evil  
Peace and violence  
Order and chaos  
Construction and destruction  
Ice and fire

They would eventually clash. It was inevitable. It was both the day they dreaded and the day they couldn't wait for. A time reserved for them, and only them, to show the other just how they felt.

_Were you right, was I wrong?  
Were you weak, was I strong? Yeah,  
Both of us broken,  
Caught in a moment,  
We lived and we loved,  
and we hurt, and we joked, yeah.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah..._

Fire and ice. No two other entities coming together made more sense. Nothing else was more fit to happen. It was simply meant to be.

At first, it seemed like they were evenly matched, until John's strength became overpowering for Bobby. He may have been the stronger, more powerful mutant. But that didn't change the fact that fire and ice can always lose and win against each other at the roll of a dice. It was a neverending war. It just depended on the circumstances.

John wanted to believe that he didn't need Bobby. Bobby knew he needed John. He realized that no matter how many people he hurt. No matter how many buildings he blew up, or how much terror he caused. He was still John Allerdyce. The boy he loved at one time, and still does. Nothing can change the past.

_We lived,  
We loved,  
We hurt,  
We joked,  
We're right,  
We're wrong,  
We're weak,  
We're strong..  
_

_We lived to love..._

Only circumstances could turn the tide in a fight between them. While they are evenly matched in terms of elements, John had the advantage of being more powerful.

But admitting the truth always prevailed over arming yourself with denial. Bobby essentially won this fight. But he wouldn't say _he_ won it. Not himself. But _they_ did. He fought for their love. John was fighting to forget it. To deny it. But that couldn't happen. Bobby carried John's still body to safety, and hoped someday fire and ice would live side by side in peace, and not against one another in conflict.

_  
But the planets all aligned when you looked into my eyes,  
And just like that,  
Watch the chemicals react,  
_

_And just like that,  
The chemicals react,  
The chemicals react..._


End file.
